Size Queen Collector Cards

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Title (as given to the record by the creator): Size Queen Collector Cards
Date(s) of creation: June 2005
Creator / author / publisher: Size Queen
Physical description: The back cover (inside and out) of a zine. One side has text and the other side has photos.
Reference #: SizeQueen-53-54-Cards
Links:  [ PDF ]

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[page description: The page is pink and has a grid divided into 9 sections, for 9 cards, each card representing a person (one is blank because it was redacted). Each card on this page has a small image of a crown that says “Size Queen” and some text about a person.]

Celestina Meow Meow

Grew Up: LA and Eugene, Oregon
Past Triumphs: Performing
Claim to Fame: Porn star – Voluptuous Vixens
Future Goal: To be a naughty nurse
Likes: Eggplant
Dislikes: People cutting me off
Turn Ons: Knives
Turn Offs: Rudeness
Fave Sex Music: Anything by Prince
Identifying Marks: Yes!
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Have an orgasm! 

[A blank card, just black]

Mo Kalman

Hometown: Da Bronx
Past Conquests: Susan Goldberg
Claim to Fame: Stage Producer, SF Dyke March, rabblerouser
Likes: Susan, Matzoh Ball Soup, hanging with young people
Dislikes: George Bush, corporate assholes, sticky lip stick
Favorite Makeout Song: Luther Vandross “If Only For One Night”
One thing everyone should do before they die: Make music 

Lady Venus

Hometown: San Francisco
Claim to Fame: Troupe Member, Fat Bottom Revue
Likes: Chocolate, femmes, feathers, flowers
Dislikes: Fear of fat
Turn Ons: Cologne, secret admirers, dreads
Turn Offs: Not too much
Fave Sex Song: “Freak Me” by Silk
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Have sex with a fat girl! 

Heather MacAllister 

Grew up: Motor City
Claim to Fame: Biggest Booty in Burlesque!
Contributions to Society: Big Burlesque’s Fat Bottom Revue
Likes: Passion, integrity
Dislikes: Over-priced food, too much cologne, bigotry
Turn Ons: Tall, dark, handsome butch not intimidated by a fierce diesel femme
Turn Offs: Hypocrisy
Fave Sex Song: Joan Jett’s “Do You Want to Touch Me There?”
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Dance naked in the middle of a circle of people who think you are sexy. 

Jukie Sunshine

Grew Up: Another nice Jewish girl from the Valley, just like Annie Sprinkle
Claim to Fame: Fabulous star of stage and screen – Don’t you know Jukie?
Future Goal: Sex edutainment!
Fave Colors: Black like my heart, pink like my pussy
Likes: Wrestling, making people like things they think they don’t like
Dislikes: Zucchini, raw tomatoes
Turn Ons: Competence, confidence, per­fectly ripe armpit
Turn Offs: Lack of self-esteem
Identifying Marks: Yes, clearly, and looking for more!
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Have sex in public, fall in love, and take it easy on yourself. 

Joe Samson

Grew Up: Vancouver, B.C.
Past Triumphs: Summa Cum Laude
Claim to Fame: 50 orgasms in 1 hour
Future Goal: 100 orgasms in 1 hour
Likes: Pretty ladies, dogs, low-slung jeans, leather belts
Dislikes: Olives, people who can’t take a joke
Turn Ons: Kissing, punching, slap­ping, dirty talk, obeying my Mistress
Turn Offs: Bad breath, bad hair
Fave Sex Song: Led Zeppelin’s “When the Levee Breaks”
Identifying Marks: Tattoos
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Fall asleep looking up at the stars 

Cherry Midnight

Grew up: Yuma, AZ
Past Triumphs: FaT GiRL, Dancer with Big Burlesque, Fat Fuck
Claim to Fame: Size Queen!
Likes: Good clothes, punk kids, hot femmes, gender artistry, manners
Dislikes: Meat
Turn Ons: Rough play, good boys, bad boys, foreign accents, feminists
Turn Offs: Self-centeredness
Fave Sex Song: Nine Inch Nails’ “Sin”
Identifying Marks: Fangs
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Make someone have 50 orgasms in 1 hour. 

Mystery Artist

Homes: MKE, ABQ, SF, Oakland, Cairo, Boston, Putney (VT), and Tucson 
Past Triumphs: FaT GiRL, Witch Eye, Bucktooth Varmints, Meter Maids
Claim to Fame: Size Queen, Creamy Goodness
Future Goal: Spread joy, satisfy my insatiable libido
Likes: Monster femmes, homemade family
Turn Ons: [redacted]
Fave Sex Music: George Clinton, Hole
Identifying Marks: Yes, some self­-inflicted.
Thing Everyone Should Do Before They Die: Love. Then love some more. 

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[page description: The page is pink and has a grid divided into 9 sections, for 9 cards, each card representing a person. Each card on this page is black with a photo of a person. The pink words “Size Queen” are above the photo, and below the photo is the person’s name and the words “Collector Card,” also in pink.]

Mo Kalman

[image: photo of Mo, a white, grey-haired, superfat, butch dyke outdoors in a crowd, wearing sunglasses, a headset with a microphone, a dark jacket and a closed-lipped grin.]

[blank card]

Celestina Meow Meow

[image: photo of Celestina, a brown, fat femme with long, brown hair, dark painted red lips, sparkly gold eyeshadow, a sacred heart tattoo on her upper chest, wearing black and silver cat ears, a spiked collar, a leopard-print bra, and black lace gloves. Her index finger is poking through the end of the glove and is in her mouth, held between her teeth.

Jukie Sunshine

[image: photo of Jukie, a fat, white femme with long auburn hair that’s pulled back off her face. She wears a multi-layered rhinestone necklace, dark pink lipstick, blue/grey eyeshadow and a slight smile.].

Heather MacAllister

[image: photo of Heather, a bald white femme with painted-on eyebrows, wearing red devil horns, giant silver hoop earrings, a red beaded macramé choker (draped down the collar bone) and sparkly red lipstick.]

Lady Venus

[image: photo of Lady Venus, a light-skinned fat femme with long wavy hair, dar with bright red streaks, She’s making a silly face, raising up one cheek and making her red-painted lips into an O.]

Mystery Artist

[image: photo of Mystery, a fat, bald, white queer laying on their back with eyes closed, looking peaceful, multiple play piercings in a radiating heart shape in their chest. On their belly is a tattoo of interwoven, fat pentagrams. A black rope is around their neck.]

Cherry Midnight

[image: photo of Cherry, a smiling fat, white, Jewish femme with curly, dark shoulder-length hair, looking out from above red glasses, wearing a red and black dress and holding a giant red rose.]

Joe Samson

[image: photo of Joe, a white trans guy in a forward-facing maroon and white baseball cap, smart glasses and a neatly trimmed mustache and goatee. He’s wearing layers: a dark t-shirt, a light patterned shirt with a collar, and a dark jacket.] 

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