FAT GIRL LIVES!

Who is Fat Girl? If you need to ask this question, I think it’s time we sat down and had a little chat. Sit back and relax. Think back. Think back just a few minutes to the moment you picked up this zine. What made you do it? Are you fat? Remember back a few minutes further, to the last time you didn’t fit into a chair and had to ask for a different one. Who kept you above your shame and humiliation? Remember the last time some creepy guy hurled insults at you and you told him to fuck off and die. Who was that moving your mouth for you, keeping you from sinking deep into depression and self­ hate? Remember the last time your great belly shook with the thunderous roar of an orgasm. Who helped you get rid of that brainwashing bullshit about fat women having no sexuality? Who? Come on, say it! Who? Fat Girl, that’s who. Yeah, she’s a superhero, but she’s not just one, and she doesn’t fit into a fucking phone booth. She lives inside every one of us. She works day and night, keeping fat women proud, strong, loving, laugh­ing and alive. 

LONG LIVE FAT GIRL!

[Image description: Drawing of a superhero with chunky thighs. She is running and her cape blows up behind her. She has a faux-hawk hairdo, a black eye mask, a t-shirt that says “Fat Girl,” black panties, wrist gauntlets and knee-high boots.] Drawing by Bertha Pearl.

HAVE YOU SEEN FAT GIRL?

Tell us about it. Write in with tales of fat girl sightings. We want to know exactly what antics Fat Girl is up to these days. We’ll publish it in the next issue. and, before the next issue comes out, we’ll put the sightings in a hat and have a little drawing. You just might be the lucky winner of a Fat Girl apricot hanky.

Fat Girl

a polka by Max Airborne 

©1993 by the BuckTooth Varmints 

Listen! Read the lyrics and sing along!

you don’t see her in the movies, she’s never on tv
the dykes don’t even show her in their magazines
she’ our best kept secret, gonna rock your world
hey are you ready for Fat Girl? 

she’s a big superhero with a big attitude
and if you’re not careful she’ll be coming after you
she don’t hold back collective anger unfurled
are you afraid of Fat Girl? 

she came to my rescue one afternoon
shinin’ like the sun and big as the moon
put a proverbial gun in my hand
said, “don’t you remember
Fat Girl singing in the dead of night?” 

Fat Girl…
they tell her she’s ugly and say she won’t fit
Fat Girl…
tried to starve her to death since she was just six
Fat Girl…
hey! what do you say when they make you feel blue?
SHUT UP OR I’LL SIT ON YOU! 

Fat Girl can’t live out no Clark Kent lies
girdles, corsets, vertical stripes, there is no disguise
she’s omnipresent she’s an omnivore
you know you can’t hide from Fat Girl 

so when you’re riding on the muni and there’s one empty space
Fat Girl get on board, she’s right in your face
you know she’s gonna sit right next to you
better save a place for
Fat Girl singing in the dead of night 

Fat Girl…
they say even though she’s jolly there is no happiness
Fat Girl…
cuz jolly means lovable but fat means loverless
Fat Girl…
hey! what do you say when they make you feel blue?
SHUT UP OR I’LL SIT ON YOU!